Acceptance
by AmaranthPrincess21
Summary: When Xander decides to convert the old concubine's quarters into guest rooms, he unknowingly disturbs the dead and Leo must face the repercussions as his mother haunts him.


"Are we sure we want to place the guest rooms here? Doesn't it seem in, um, poor taste?" Camilla asks, eyes watching as a worker carries away the last of the brick barricade.

"It's time we move on from the past. Turning the old concubine's quarters into guest rooms will do us good," Xander says as he begins a long speech justifying his decisions. _Why does he do this,_ Leo muses bitterly, biting back the words. _Talking isn't going to make this better. He wasn't raised here. He doesn't know what it was like. This place doesn't have bad memories for him like it does us._ "... That being said, we should try and grab as many things as we want to save as possible. I've instructed the servants to dispose of everything after we've left." And with hesitant footsteps disguised as fearless, Leo follows his siblings into the old concubine quarters.

Layers of dust cover the floor and with each step the siblings take, small clouds of dust rise around their feet. Elise coughs and covers her nose with her hands. Despite the filth and dead rats on the floor, it's almost the same as Leo remembered. It's certainly as unwelcoming as it was before it was sealed up.

 _Ugh, I just need to search the rooms for books and then I can go. The faster this is over with, the better._ He goes through rooms quickly, finding only a few books to add to the castle's library. _I don't know what I was expecting. They were too busy being manipulative to read,_ he sighs. Camilla has already left and Xander had no reason to stay. Right now, it's just him and Elise.

"Elise, come on. We've breathed in enough dust," Leo calls out to her as he leaves the room. There's no response. "Elise?" _Did she leave?_ He pokes his head into a few rooms and the closer he inches towards his mother's room, the more his stomach sinks into the filthy floor.

And of course that's where Elise is, trying on his mother's old jewelry and wearing that gaudy, sparkling red hairpiece she wore all the time. From the amount of stuff on the floor next to her, Elise has hit a jackpot here.

"Elise, what are you doing? You're going to get sick if you keep breathing in all this dust." _Please let that be enough to get her to leave._ She turns to him, a large grin on her face.

"You're not going to believe all the cool stuff I found in here!" she exclaims. "There's so much jewelry and lots of sparkly clothes!"

"Yeah, that's certainly something," he responds. Elise pouts at him.

"Can't you just be happy for me?" she asks.

"Who said I wasn't? I just don't like it here. It's dirty and if I wanted childhood reminders, I'd get them somewhere else." The gears in Elise's mind spin and realization dawns on her face.

"I'm so sorry, Leo! I can put this stuff all back -"

"I don't care if you want it," he lies. "It's not like my mother's going to be using it, anyway. What's she going to do, rise from the dead and rip that hat off of your head?" Elise chuckles softly.

"I'd like to see her try," she smiles. Elise finishes play dress-up quickly and Leo is left to his own devices. He's on her heels as she leaves; he can't leave his mother's room fast enough.

Since he was a child, the library has always been his refuge. It was more than easy to hide in the labyrinth of bookshelves or duck under the tables. The library was it's own world and one of the few places he felt truly safe in. Adding the books to the library's shelves only took a moment. _What now?_ If he were a good brother, he would go have tea with Elise. But no doubt she was wearing his mother's jewelry and simply going into his mother's room was enough dwelling in the past for today.

Slowly, Leo walks around the shelves, pulling out the biggest, densest books he can find. If this won't take his mind off of his mother, nothing will.

* * *

A heavy fog pushes down on Leo's thoughts as he comes to. Heat burns underneath his skin and it takes him a good twenty seconds to realize he's still in the library. _Gods, that's the last time I'm napping in the library,_ he thinks as he slowly sits up.

Darkness covers the hallways like a shroud and light drips from the wall sconces as Leo trudges along. At this point, he's too tired to wish his quarters were closer. The only things on his mind are a warm bed and a soft pillow.

A quick movement out of the corner of his eye catches his attention. Heart pounding, he turns towards a wall. There was nothing there. _I… I need some sleep. I'm seeing shadows when I shouldn't._

"Leo."

He jumps at the female voice, far too familiar for his liking. Dark eyes hurriedly scan the hallway but reveal nothing. He is alone. Completely alone in the dark hallway. _But perhaps something lurks in the dark?_ No, this wasn't his childhood. He didn't have to fear shadows and footsteps anymore. There was no one hiding in this part of the castle.

Gods, he just needed to sleep this off.

* * *

Leo's heart almost fails as he realizes there's a hand on his shoulder. Instincts kick in and he bolts up, hands reaching for Brynhildr on his nightstand.

"Milord, please don't hurt me!" A maid nearly falls over as she scrambles away from him. "I-I'm just here to wake you up!"

"Oh." Taking deep breaths, he slumps against his headboard. Grogginess pulls on every inch of his mind and body. What wouldn't he give to go back to bed. _Did I even get sleep last night?_ he wonders.

"You have a letter from Prince Takumi," she sheepishly offers him an envelope. "It arrived early this morning." He takes the letter from her and starts tearing into it. "Tell my siblings I'll be down for breakfast soon."

"Of course, milord." Leo sets the envelope aside and opens Takumi's letter. It's mostly asking what to pack, like if he should bring a shogi board with him, or if warm clothing is necessary for Nohrian winters.

"Oboro usually takes care of my clothing, but she was so preoccupied with mourning clothes for Mother's funeral that I want to take the pressure off of her," Takumi writes before starting to tell Leo about his mother. With every word his friend writes, Leo's heart sinks and jealousy sets in. From Takumi's accounts, Leo sees a loving and kind mother in Queen Mikoto. One that would put her children before anything and would never dream of using them like pawns in a selfish game of chess.

 _No, it's no use to think about her,_ Leo tries to shut his mind down, pushing the memories of his mother away. _It's not going to do any good to think of Mother._ He glances at the letter once more before shoving it into a drawer. _I wish I had no memories of her._

After a quick meal, Leo heads to the library. A genealogy book has somehow made it onto his favorite table, lying open as if someone had just been flipping through it. _What the hell? Was Xander making edits to this old thing?_ He picks it up. It's open to the page with him and his siblings on it. Corrin's name is not yet crossed out, still resting right before his own name. He catches a glance of his mother's name and slams the book shut. _I need to put this thing away._

He hurries, nearly running, along the aisles until he reaches the the genealogy section of the library. He shoves the book into a bare slot and the force nearly knocks the shelf over. _I don't have time to be picking up after others._ Yes, ranting it what he needs. He needs to distract himself before he starts thinking about his mother.

As soon as Leo sits back down at his table, a distant _thump_ makes him stand right back up.

"Is someone there?" he calls out. Silence. _This better not be Niles and Odin playing another prank on me._ Leo makes his way through the library, slow and cautious, peeking down every aisle. He comes across the family history shelf and sees a single book on the ground.

 _How did that fall? All the books were fine a moment ago._ Crouching down, he grabs the book. _There must be something wrong with the shelf._ As he starts to stand, he notices bright red shoes peeking out of a gold skirt right in front of him. He looks up and sees his mother in front of him. Adrenaline spikes in his veins and in his hurry to step away from her, he nearly falls over his own feet.

"Mother?!" he demands. "No… No, you can't be here. I'm seeing things."

"You always did enjoy denying the obvious," she says, disdain dripping from her voice. "I remember how you insisted to your siblings that I wasn't your mother. That was a cruel thing to do."

"You're calling me cruel? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" he fires back. "Wait, what am I doing? Why am I talking to a figment of my imagination? I must be losing my mind."

"And there you go again, ignoring your mother. This is why I was never kind to you. You're such an awful son," she retorts. It's childish and Leo knows it, but he hurls the book at her and she disappears. He freezes, counting the seconds until she reappears. One second after another, he waits but she never comes back. _Gods, what's going on?_ He puts the book away and simply sits on the ground, head reeling. _Ghosts are real, but if she… she can't be a ghost. She can't be here. She can't be._

Leo spends the rest of the day with Elise in her room, not speaking a word of the library incident to her. Between tea parties and asking him to teach her how to use basic tomes, Elise provides a great distraction. But as the moon rises and the night grows old, exhaustion starts to set in. Elise yawns and stretches her limbs.

"I'm sorry to kick you out, but I need to go to sleep. A lady always needs her beauty sleep!" she says with a wink. Panic shocks his system and for a moment, he's tempted to ask her if he can stay in her room for the night. _Don't be ridiculous. You were hallucinating your mother. You'll be fine,_ he scolds himself, but the fear remains.

Leo bids Elise good night and hurries to his bedroom. It's cold, even with the fireplace roaring. When he gets in bed, he pulls all the blankets around him and wraps himself in their warmth. He can't sleep if he's cold.

"What did I tell you about sleeping with so many blankets? It'll make the assassins' job easier to smother you." His mother is right beside him. She grabs a few blankets and throws them off the bed. He can't deny it. His mother's ghost is here. She's back.

"I don't have to worry about assassins anymore. There's only four of us left now, you know. You won, Mother! I'm one of the last ones standing! I get to cement your place in the history books, just like you always wanted!" he spits at her, saying everything he wish he had while she was alive.

"Don't be ridiculous, Leo. I was never queen, was I? Then I didn't win," she replies coldly. "And you're welcome, by the way, for protecting your sorry self. You wouldn't have lived this long if it weren't for me."

"You didn't keep me alive because you loved me. You only wanted me alive so you could crawl your way up the social ladder!" he retorts. "Why should I give you my time?"

"You ungrateful brat! You owe me your time because who birthed you? Who raised you? I did!"

"I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING!" he roars. Rage burns at his mind and all he can see is red. "You didn't raise me and you know it! Camilla, Xander, and a wet nurse raised me! You may have given birth to me but you are no mother and you never will be."

"Whether you like it or not, I _am_ your mother no matter what others did for you and you better start appreciating what I've done for you, Leo! I'm not leaving this castle anytime soon."

"Not until I exorcise you out!" He gets out of bed and goes to his shelves of tomes. "I won't hesitate to put you back in your grave!"

"You're never going to escape me, Leo," she hisses. "I will always be a part of your life." And she's gone, fading into the air. Leo lets out a frustrated growl and gathers his blankets. He knows he won't be sleeping tonight. Not with his mother on the loose.

 _How am I supposed to live like this? Having her around every corner?_ he ponders, burrowing himself into his blankets. _Why can't I just forget her? Why can't I just live the rest of my life without her or any reminders of her? And why was she even in the castle now? Those damn remodels Xander ordered must have woken her up._ Leo recalls him and his siblings watching the construction workers removed bricks.

"It's time we move on from the past," Xander had said. _Like I can move on from this. He had a kind mother,_ Leo thinks. _Now I'll have to deal with Mother every day. How can I move on from someone so awful?_

 _Maybe… maybe moving on isn't the first step._ Leo turns onto his back, looking up at his canopy. _Mother was awful. I can't ignore that and I can't escape it. She was a hardly a mother at all. She didn't love me and she never will. I wish she did, but love isn't something she's capable of._

 _Perhaps it's time to accept reality and stop pretending she never existed._

* * *

"I'm sorry I missed Queen Mikoto's funeral," Leo told Takumi as they walk through the royal gardens.

"I didn't expect you to come. It's not like you knew her," Takumi replies, stopping to lean on a bridge's railings.

"I should have been there for you and your siblings." Leo joins him. Takumi shrugs.

"It was probably for the best that you weren't there, anyway. We were all messes," he admits with a sigh. "It's still hard to think she's not here anymore. She would have loved this garden."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Leo muses. "My mother used to spend a lot of time here before she died. She was fond of that rose patch over there," he points.

"What was she like?"

"She was awful. She didn't love me and only saw me as a way to get a better ranking in the court."

"Oh." Takumi's face turns bright red and he quickly looks away from Leo. "I, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -"

"It's fine. You didn't know." Leo sighs. "She was an awful mother, but I've come to terms with the fact she never loved me and I accept the role she had in my life. She was terrible, but I can't pretend she didn't exist or something."

"Gods, I thought we came here for some fresh air, not some deep introspective discussion about our mothers' roles in our lives," Takumi huffs as he leans back. Leo can't help but laugh. As Takumi starts walking across the rest of the bridge, Leo gives one last glance to the rose patch. His mother stands amongst the flowers, red roses piled in the crook of her arm. She's lost in her own little world. _At least she won't bother me anymore,_ Leo thinks before hurrying after Takumi.


End file.
